1. Powerlessness
A pattern of returning to old, undesired behaviors with negative consequences even after we have committed to stop.
2. Tolerance
The need for more and more of what we desire as we chase after the object of our affection.
3. Withdrawal
An emptiness, sadness, anxiety, itchy restlessness, and unsatisfaction when we don’t have the object of our affection.
4. Preoccupation
Thinking, planning, fantasizing, mental longing, and obsessive thoughts about fulfilling the longings of our heart.
5. Loss of interest
The loss of interest in social activities, other people or interests except for the relationship.
6. Unmanageabilty
Negative consequences—physical, social, mental, emotional, legal, family, occupation, education, financial, spiritual—that make our life feel out of control.
7. Solutions that turn to problems
What once used to seem like the solution to our problems turns on us and becomes the greatest source of pain.
8. Compromising values and convictions
Acting in ways that go against your personal values and convictions for the sake of the relationship.
9. Hiding, Avoidance
Hiding the relationship from others or avoiding others because you know they won’t approve.
10. Denial “I don’t have an addiction!”
counseling 